Demam

Kuat betul bahang neraka,
Sampai ke sini rasanya.

Sejuk ada,
Panas ada,
Macam-macam ada.

Tak nak lagi aku buat dosa,
Kalau itu yg Kau murka.

Lagi-lagi kalau ini, baru 'preview'nya.

Dahsyatnya.

'Ayah'

Hj Yusoff Mat Adam,
Atukku,
Di Kelantan,

Jumpa setahun sekali,
Masa balik, mukanya berseri,
kadang kami terkejut geli,
tengok atuk tak pakai gigi,

Kalau time sakit,
Walaupon tak berapa kronik,
Mesti semua orang menjerit,
"Faisal, gi pujuk Ayah tu, gi klinik!"

Hanya aku sorang yang boleh suruh,
Hanya aku yang boleh duduk melayan,
Kalau org lain suruh,
Ayah akan bolayan,

Tiap-tiap kali bertolak pulang,
Atuk akan menangis,
Cucu Lelaki sulungla katakan,
Dengan aku tak pernah miss,

Pesannya pada aku,
"Kalau kita ingat tuhan, tuhan akan ingatkan kita balik",
Simple bukan? tak perlu tunggang terbalik,

Harapannya besar,
"Ayah nak tengok faisal belajar sampai universiti"
....Aku buat
"Ayah nak tengok faisal kerja"
....Aku hampir buat
"Ayah nak tengok faisal kahwin dan nak cicit"
....Aku tak sempat nak buat.

Itu sajalah penyesalanku,
Mac 2002, Ayah 'terbang' ke dunia baru,

Satu hari, bukanku tak mahu,
Satu hari, kukan kotakan impianmu.

Ayah, Semoga tuhan mencucuri rahmat ke atas rohmu.

Al-Fatihah

Splatt

i didn't expect the splat would happen this soon.

Which splat i'm talking about? Well, it's about us going different directions. It's ok if the splat shows towards the same direction. But have you ever seen a splat that shows to one destination?

Thought so.

Friends will be friends. But we've got to do, what we've got to do.

It feels like yesterday that we were still studying in MMU.
(Skipping classes, having fun, etc etc.)
It feels like yesterday that we graduated from MMU.
(Hoya-hoya sini sana, celebrate birthdays, badminton on weekends, futsal, lepak mamak, etc etc)

It feels like yesterday Farul and 'syaitan tapai' tried to chase a certain somebody at the Komuter station.
It feels like yesterday that Ayil, Rumet, Ceng, Farul got married.
It feels like yesterday that i received a call from Ayil saying Esah is pregnant.
It feels like yesterday that i received an sms from rumet saying Qz delivered
It feels like yesterday that Ceng told me that Along is pregnant.

It feels like yesterday that a lot of things happened.

And now suddenly, everybody will be heading towards their own direction.

And it's a bit of a shock, coz if this splat does happen, we might not be seeing each other for quite some time.

3 - 4 years?

Rumet will be working the normal working hours (if he decides to stay with current job)
Farul is already looking into a self-developed business.
Ayil will be working in shifts for at least 2 years.
Ceng will be in flight school and can only come back on weekends.
And after that, he'll be flying all around the world.

And myself, well, i'll be geographically too far to join in any impromptu teh tarik/mamak sessions.

This was discussed quite some time ago, but i didn't see it coming this early.

Well, i guess the inevitable has happened and we have to go our separate ways.

Hope the splat will gather back into a container one day.

This calls for a game of snooker. Jom weyh!!!

p/s : Esah, i agree if you and Z think this blog is too personal. I think i should rename my blog as "Tapai, Ayil, Ceng, Rumet and Farul's story - Journey of the splats". Haha.

Drama swasta

Drama swasta

Mesti ada cinta terlarang,
Mesti ada cewek yang curang,

Mesti ada lelaki,
yang bergantung pada yang tak pasti,
Tapi tetap memberanikan diri,
Kerana empunya belum tentu sudi,

Pasti ada 'scene' di restoran,
Duduk keduanya berhadapan,
Segelas 'fresh orange' buat membasahi,
Berpayung dan oren potong disangkut di sisi,

Berduaan,
Keduanya melayan perasaan,

lari ke tempat sejuk dan tinggi,
saat yang indah amat diingini,
Walau sementara tetap dikecapi,
Kenangan sentiasa lekat di hati,

Langit gelap malam mendatang,
Lantas terus Keduanya terbang,
Walau di bumi tapi bak kayangan,
sebijik menjadi bak angan-angan,

Bak cinderella keduanya,
Pukul dua belas sudahpun tiba,
Satu hari bak satu saat,
tiba masa untuk berangkat,

masa amat cemburukan kita,
Habis sudah gurau dan tawa,
Panggilan telefon suaranya umi,
Masa untuk berpijak ke bumi,

Pengakhiran pasti tragis,
Adam dan hawa Terus menangis,

Kasih dan sayang kita beri,
Balasan cinta tuhan miliki,

Mati mungkin,
Terpisah mungkin,

Hanya tuhan, empunya kuasa,
Pilihan Dramaku sampai hujungnya.

Syahadah Pertama

Tuhan ku Satu?
Tertanya dibenak hatiku

Ucapan Syahadah bahagian pertama,
adakah itu yang dizahirkan semua?

Satukah tuhan dihati semua?
Hari-hari buat tuhan murka,
Hari-hari berajakan cinta,
Hari-hari mentakhtakan harta,

Bersyukurkah pada empunya berkat?
Hati ini takkah kufur nikmat,
Hati ini ditambat Pangkat,
Hati ini dikunci Darjat,

Apa beza Latta dan Uzza?
Berhala yang penuh sesat,
Dengan Cinta dan Harta,
Dengan Pangkat dan darjat,

Bukan itu yang patut dipuja,
Bukan Berhala yang berhala-hala,
Bukankah Tuhan yang maha esa,
Bukankah Tuhan pemilik semesta,

Kembalilah kita, kepada syahadah yang pertama,
Kemudian barulah bermula syahadah kedua.

26 March 2006

*Satu petang yg mendung

Warna atas warna

Ini wilayah aku,

Segala meja, segala kerusi,
segala kereta, segala jalan,
segala lelaki, segala perempuan,
segala yang tua, segala yang muda,

CEO syarikat, tukang sapu sampah,
Ketua polis, penagih dadah,
BMW, motor kapcai,
RUmah 'mansion' 3 tingkat, flat 2 bilik,
Budak Pandai, Budak Bodoh,
Berkaki dua, berkaki tiga,
Bekerja, business sendiri,
Teknikal, marketing,
Melayu, India, Cina, Singh,

Ini wilayah aku,
Penuh warna,
Tapi aku lihat tingkap,
Banyak yang kelabu,

Tapi tak tahu apa.

Aku pergi ke wilayah lain,
Berkelana mencari ilmu,
mencari warna,
dan suatu hari akan kembali,
ke wilayah aku.

Kembali berbakti.
Kembali untuk mewarna,

Warna atas warna.

25-3-2006

Welcome to the world.

Welcome.. welcome Arianna!

Welcome to the world of joy and happiness,
Welcome to the world of sadness,
Welcome to a world of prosperity,
Welcome to a world of suffering,

Wish you lotsa love to brighten ur day,
Wish you lotsa challenges to strengthen your spirit,

Be a good child and a good friend,
Be a good muslimah,
Build a strong character,
Build a strong family,
Build a strong nation if you will,

If you find that you are alone in the dark,
Always remember your parents, coz they will always be in your heart.
Always remember that Allah will always be with you,
As long as you open your heart,
As long as you take care of your heart,
Stay away from things that can blacken your heart,
Hasad, Dengki, Riak, Takbur, Sombong, Membazir,
and Everything would be fine

From Auntie Julie's Blog,

Who should I give my love to?
My respect and my honour to?
Who should I pay good mind to - after Allah,And Rasullullah?
Comes your Mother,Who next?
Your MotherWho next?
Your MotherAnd then your Father
Cause who used to hold you
And clean you and cloth you?
Who used to feed you
And always be with you?
When you were sick, stay up all night,Holding you tight?
Thats right no other, My Mother

I know this poem sucks (if you can call it a poem),
But i wrote this as a welcome.

Welcome Arianna bt. Azril..

Welcome to the world.

Regards,
The Kewl Uncle Pie

Ego Mego

Aku just realize yg ego ni banyak mencacatkan diri ko sendiri. Camne nak buang ego? Eh, perlu buang ke in the first place? Kang bachul plak.

Tapi kalau ego, macam macam plak jadi, cam terlalu perfectionist sampai kerja tangguh, cam control macho yang menyebabkan org nyampah, cam kene betul selalu, kalau salah akan rasa irritated, dan lain-lain.

Tapi ego tu penting jugak, kang, takde kelakian plak. Kang org pijak kepala plak. Kang org ambik peluang plak.

Ke camna?

Ke camna?

Ke camna?

Kalau buat menda kerana Lillah Taala, tak dtg kot persoalan camni.

Ahaks. Humm...

Majlis Ijazah @ MMU

Semalam aku pi MMU. Sebagai satu-satunya ahli alumni tak bertauliah dan suka menyebuk, maka pergi la jugak majlis ni. Sekarang ni members Silat Cekak Ustaz Hanafi MMU dah ramai gile. Yang aktif jek dah triple the numbers of member masa kat MMU dulu. Ingat lagi dulu, berapa kerat jek dalam satu majlis. Semua boleh ingat nama without much effort. Skarang ni ramai beb manjang lupa tapi buat buat ingat jek.

Tak sempat dtg awal coz ada tusyen kat rumah. Kalau datang awal pon tak tenteram jugak seba ada breakdown yang hebat kat subang jaya. Ada mini-hurricane kot. Habis leased line kat dengan Sports Planet down. Siap ngan satu International CIrcuit pon down. Int Cct ni tengah hangat diperkatakan dikalangan top management yang takut kena jail akibat tak meet MCMC requirement, so kena jaga lebih sikit.

Habes tumbang pokok. Yang tercabut akar ada, yang terbelah dua pon ada. Jalan depan rumah mmg tertutop terus. So kene parking jauh skit.. redah pokok-pokok tumbang, baru bley sampai rumah. Naisb baik tak parking kereta kat luar masa pokok tumbang. Lagi lagi mercedes mak aku. Kalau idakk.. menangis dak berlagu laaa. Uhuhu.. Subang Jaya ni beb! Tak logikkkk. Kesian MPSJ.. smapai ke pukul 11 malam still dok clear up pokok.

Aaanyway.. biasala, kalau pergi majlis, mesti mau jaga dressing. Mesti la baju Melayu Lengkap. Heh.. lama tak pakai and aku dah lupa pon aku simpan kat mana. (Yes, aku dah bersara jadi pengapit default). Dengan harapan baju yang tempah time raya dan dah 3 bulan siap masih belum dijual oleh macik tailor, aku pon call untuk pi amek. Nasib baik dah siap. Tapi nasib tak baik, lengan die pendekk... What de helll.. terpaksa la aku cari baju melayu lain. Demm..

Sampai Majlis pon dah kol 12. Lepak ngan guru utama, borak borak beramai-ramai. Banyak jugak petua dapat. Bebudak pon tak segan silu nak bertanya. Kalau time dulu, mmg segan betul nak bertanya. (Kalau cipok.. mesti tanya minyak pengasih.. hahhaa.) Pas tu smabung lagi lepak kat Hassan's plak. Kol 4 baru sampai umah.

Aku pon tatau kenapa aku cerita pasal menda nieh. Tapi tetibe aku miss bebudak Cekak yang dulu. Jom la turun Weyh.. aku tahu korang dah gemuk.. at least keluar sikit peluh.. ;). Ha, nanti ada majlis petua.. yang dah kawin tu jom.. jomm.. aku tahu "performance" korang low. Yang belum kawen pon sama, harap pakai tanduk rusa. Haha.

P/s: Ceng.. cakap thanx kat mak ko. Sponsor baju Melayu. Ahaks.

P/P/s : Ceng. ko tak angkat call aku.. mampus.. Pizzaa!!! Dah la ari tu janji nak lepak pas tu kasik aku tunggu sampai 3 jam.!! Ayil.. Rumet.. Farul apa lagi.. seranggg!!

Choose to choose

Voice in Tapais head:

"There is no such thing as not having a choice. You will always have the choice. If you feel like there is none, it's either you are not aware of the choice, or you don't want to take the choice.

Either one, you should not grief or grumble about things that happen to you. It was your choice.

So make sure you meet enuff people, and read enuff books so that you can get sufficient information to make a choice.

Choose to choose.

Thank you Fazlina. "

Wake up and smell the coffee la Tapai

I'm Backkk!! Things have been quite hectic lately that i have no drive to update my blog. Sorry peeps.

Lotsa things happened, especially with theater. Aroma hit it big time, thanx to the article in the Star newspaper. I've been receiving calls from all over malaysia, asking advise on "how to start theatre"... heheh.. Macam la bagus nak bagi advise.

COffee and Toast! was a success. It was very audience-friendly. Received lots of good input and reviews on the show. Though it might not be comparable to the likes of PGL, and other high budget theatres. But it served its goals. It was, as rodek would describe as affordable-intelligent theatre. As long as people can relate and enjoy, and tadek yang tidor, that should be a-ok.

Learnt a lot from that production. It was a merge between two worlds. In the papers, they always talk about "Malaysian Theatre". Bullshit. It is always the English Theatre, Malay Theatre, CHienese Theatre, and the Indian Theatre. In Coffee and Toast! case, it's the merge between English Theatre and Malay Theatre People. It is kinda hard to meet up both expectations. For example, In the Malay Theatre world, Aroma is known for its marketing. Well, if you can get more than 50% occupancy, that would be considered as good marketing. But for English Theatre people. It is CRAP. That's ith a capital C.R.A.P. I won't comment on the Chinese and the Indian Theatre world, coz i'm not exposed to that.

There lots of other things that i learnt, but let's not go there. Or else, this will be the longest blog entry in the whole wide world!

Moving ahead. Aroma is growing. This is a good sign. But things kinda changed. Expectations are higher. Commitment has to be tip top. People are looking. We were approached to restage "Coffee and Toast!" again in Actor's studio Bangsar and Penang. We were also approached by an individual, a canadian lady, saying that she wants to do monolog on human rights. Other than that, there is also "Tat Nenas", also at Actor's studio Bangsar (May), and also "Kelab Malam" in Taman Budaya (August). There is also a monolog competition in July.

Sounds good, rite?

Nope, This is where the-oh-so-pemalas-and-don't-want-commitment-tapai starts thinking," aiyah.. so hard lah.. so fuck it". I just loose interest. I do things for fun. Same like the other things i do. That might be the reason why i'm not successful in lots of other areas (e.g: relationship). Haih....

Have you ever felt that suddenly there are too many things happening that you want to just drop everything?

Voice in Tapai's Head:

"Oi.. ko ada kerja Telekom bertimbun, dengan silat lagi, pas tu teater lagi. Teater pon sume nak buat.. produce la.. presiden la.. nak berlakon la. Ni belum pikir pasal masters lagi.. itu pon belum setel. Nak cari time untuk isi borang pon payah. Oi... Wake up and smell the coffee la weyhhh.. ko tu sorang jek. Dah la bukan superman. Sumer pon nak buat. Gila ke apa, sedar la diri sket. Sume benda buat, pikir pasal org lain.. pasal yang diri sendiri kena la pikir jugak!. Mana pegi 5 yr - 10 yr plan ko dulu? Hagham dah tadek. Dengar la nasihat Otromen ngan Cipok tuuu. Dah la awek pon tadek.. harap member jek ramai.. tapi time lonely, mana sume pegi? yilekk...Baik pegi Pattaya la oi oi... Dah tadek luck tu.. cari jek mane mane pompuan kat Pattaya. Ni bukan, sibuk nak gi naik gunong.. bukan ade puteri gunung mana mana tunggu ko. Ada hati nak declare atas gunung. Oi Loser. KO tu dah bukan tapai yang dulu. Tapai dulu kire gempak la jugak. Skarang ni ape dah jadi tatau.. Asshole.. OIIIIIIII.. isk tidor plak dah budak ni.....Loser."

Arghhh... this is turning into one of Nini's entry..aahhaha.. depressing. Better stop before this gets worst.

Fin.